Seeking help

I don’t seem to get over the pain of my ex Richard refusing to communicate with me. Every morning, I wake up wishing I hadn’t so that I wouldn’t feel that unbearable pain. It comes and goes, but every morning for the past 6 weeks or so I have woken up to that pain, and I don’t see any end in sight. Again and again, I find myself crying on my bed for hours, feeling lost and miserable. It has also taken a visible toll on all areas of my life (e.g. some of my closest friends are starting to get tired of hearing me talk about Richard all the time). This has turned into an obsession, a distinct, chronic "sickness".

This morning, after a few hours spent crying on my bed yet again, I realize that there is probably nothing to lose from dialing the phone number that a friend has had the bright idea to stick into my reluctant hand a couple of weeks ago (I guess, after I had rambled about Richard for an hour or two): that of her therapist Roslyn. For the first time in my life, I feel that it might be OK to go seek help, i.e. pay someone to share my sorrow with, and see if it brings me any comfort.

I have never seen a psychotherapist before, as I felt that these must be for sissies, weaklings, but certainly not for the healthy, stable and strong me. I know that it has helped some friends of mine get over depression, though, so there might be something to it. Although I am highly skeptical that this will help me in any way, I feel better already from calling her.