Self-flagellation

Another little gem from Neale Donald Walsch's CWG bulletin (#141). Excerpt from a letter from Neale to Sam:

"Face your shortcomings joyfully, Sam. You can't solve a problem, ANY problem, until you know what it is. Knowing of your "shortcomings" is the first step toward eliminating them. And I want to talk about "shortcomings" here. Consider the possibility that what you call your shortcomings are merely your greatest strengths - with the volume simply turned up a bit too loud. Ever think of that?

A great strength of mine is my confidence. Turned up too much, that can look to some like boastfulness. A great strength of mine is my bravery and courage. Turned up too high that can look to some like recklessness, carelessness. A great strength of mine is my spontaneity, my willingness to move quickly, to act in the moment, decisively. Turned up too high that can look like irresponsibility.

A great teacher of mine once told me, "Everything that people love you for is what people call your shortcoming when it is simply turned up too high. Don't try to change yourself, just turn down the volume on parts of yourself in certain situations. In other situations, let those same parts blast out full volume. Never throw away anything that is "you." Just look to see how much of that is wanted and needed right now, in this moment. Learn to become sensitive to the moment, then give the gift you came to give, in proportion to what serves the moment."

I never forgot that. It stopped me from my until-then constant process of "disowning myself." I reclaimed myself again, reclaimed my own magnificence, and could again share it with others.

Sam, you're magnificent. Cut it out. Stop it. Stop all this self-flagellation and let's get on with it. We've got a world to change."

Yesterday, as I was coaching someone, I "recycled" that metaphor of "turning the volume up/down". I asked him: "What are those qualities/attributes in you that you would like to turn the volume up a little?" He told me that was a very nice, non-threatening, non-judgmental way to address self-improvement - say, as opposed to: "where do you think you are being deficient"? ;-)