What's In Your Mind?

First meditation: it works!

In New York City for the marathon that I am not able to run because of a stress fracture, I seek advice from my friend Sasha, who earlier pointed me towards Buddhism. I ask him: "So, does meditation really work?" He tells me: "Well, why don’t you try? Do this: sit with your back straight, close your eyes, and start breathing focusing on your breath. You may want to count your breaths: 21, 20, 19, etc, to 1."

In the flight back to San Francisco, I take a leap of faith and decide to give it a try. I close my eyes and start watching my breath and counting... And surprise: it works! It is subtle; I can tell it is a whole different world… I feel that meditation induces a mild "altered state of consciousness" that reminds me of my trip to the mountain top, as it also induces clarity and well-being… I understand that this is a step in the right direction, and that meditation is my surest ally if I want to reach the mountain top again… or at least move upwards.

First visit to a Buddhist meditation center

I just went for the first time to the Diamond Way meditation center to take part in their regular guided meditation. Hmm, what to think of it? Of course, nothing "extraordinary" happened... (how can I not compare with my own recent peak experiences, last July and August?)

My friend Sasha recommends that I attended a meditation retreat with Lama Ole Nydhal, to get another true taste of the mountaintop… I register to one in April in San Francisco, and one in May in Texas.

Tonglen meditation

On my way to Tokyo for my last business trip, I try Tonglen meditation for the first time (as described in Pema Chodron's book When Things Fall Apart, P. 93-97, a highly recommended reading by the way) and have a smashing experience, another deluge of clarity and bliss (buckets of joy and rivers of insights).

Here is how Tonglen goes: with each breath in, you mentally take in one of the sufferings of the world that you know about (a pain you or a loved one has, or one of the world’s sufferings), and, with each breath out, you breathe out joy, comfort, light, etc (whatever can alleviate the suffering). You go on and on like this, "vacuuming" the world of all sufferings!

I got entranced, in a state of deep concentration, "vacuuming" like this for almost an hour (there is so much suffering to breathe in!). My heart was getting bigger and bigger, I was feeling totally purified. It also brought me a river of insights on how I can indeed be of service to the world and alleviate its sufferings. I filled pages and pages of notes in my journal, it was incredible. I’ll do it again…

Fighting physical pain

A friend tells me that she is stuck in bed with pain. I send her the following:

"If you are still in pain, try this and see what it does:

• Focus on your breath for a few minutes, then relax one by one every part of your body, by focusing all your attention on it (head, eyes, ears, jaw, neck, arms, lower arms, chest, heart, back, belly, etc, etc). Make every part of your body you focus on heavy and hot (you can "throw energy" in every part of your body, e.g. without moving your arm, imagine that you are carrying a weight in your hand: automatically energy flows into your arm). Visualize the oxygen you breathe go into each part of your body and nurture it.
• You can try visualizations: e.g. visualize your body as an "empty shell" and visualize that all your consciousness is contained in a small light ball in the middle of your body (tennis ball). Then visualize this white ball become bigger and bigger and bigger, as big as yourself, then as big as the room, the house, the city, the country, the world, the solar system, all the way to the edges of the universe.
• Also, introspection exercise: imagine this pain had come visit you in order to teach you something. What is it that it is teaching you? What are you learning from this? What are you learning about yourself and about the world? What is it telling you?
• Another introspection exercise: you say "pain sucks" or "lying in bed sucks". Why? Why do you think that pain sucks? What makes pain suck more than, say, living in London, or living in our time, or being single, or not being twenty anymore? Would it have to do with your expectations about what life should be like? What are your expectations about what life should be like? Are these realistic? (e.g. is living without pain realistic?) Etc. Dig in! Use this time!"

But, there is no scientific proof of Spirit (or is there?)

A friend who has awakened spiritually shares with me some of the challenges he runs into when he tries to share with his girlfriend his new discoveries. One of her main objections is "there is no scientific proof for this". I endeavor to provide him with a tool to counter that objection, an argument I read in Wilber’s The marriage of Sense and Soul: the distinction one has to make between scientific domain and scientific method:

"The key here is to understand and make the distinction between scientific domain and scientific method.

What she is trying to tell you, is that what we generally call "science" (i.e. the study of the phenomena of matter) does not prove spiritual things. Well, it is normal, given that it is not its domain of study!! Matter, indeed, does not, and never will, prove Spirit. In order to know a particular domain, one must apply methods of study (scientific or not) to that domain.

Now, the scientific method (generally characterized by the production of reproducible results), you can apply to all domains, and it has been applied (by the Buddhists, Hindus, etc) to the spiritual domain for the past 5,000 years (this science of spirit is much older than our science of matter!)

She needs first to see that there is such a thing as the spiritual domain, and this is where you can help her: she does not see the spiritual dimension of life, the same way you did not see it prior to your awkening, exactly like seeing a 3D object in 2D). Only then will she be able to recognize that thousands of people (e.g. myself) apply scientific methods to the study of that domain. The key experience is called meditation. The experiences are absolutely reproducible: nowadays people measure the brainwaves associated with different meditative states, etc. Even if she has not reached a meditative state yet, she cannot NEGATE that there is something called meditation while there are thousands and thousands of books on the topic, millions of practitioners, etc (you can show her that if she does not see it).

By the way have you shown to her Wilber’s "waves of existence"? Does she object? Or the "perennial philosophy", i.e. the order of things as described by about all the thinkers/philosophers who have walked this Earth: matter < life < mind < soul < spirit, with the sign "<" meaning, here, "is transcended and included by"? What she is looking at is matter, life, mind, soul maybe, but she is not looking at spirit, QUITE SIMPLY (i.e. you guys are talking oranges and apples) – she does not see this dimension of life – yet.

Spiritual, mystical people, i.e. people who have opened to this dimension of life, which TRANSCENDS and INCLUDES all the other dimensions, are in general happier, more stable. You can see this, simply, when you scan their brain and look what brainwaves they produce vs. non-meditators, given that to meditate is in fact to train your brain to be more performant, it is to maximize your human potential, it is to evolve – this is what she needs to understand. This is a "proven", established fact also. (What else would we do that for, she thinks?)"

Questioning spirituality or the mystical experience

When I share about my spiritual life, or about my meditative or mystical experiences (e.g. here) with people around me who have not had a recognized taste of Spirit yet, I sometimes get from them looks that say, like the embryo in Rumi’s poem:

"There is no "other world."
I only know what I've experienced.
You must be hallucinating."

Read about sex, or do it.
Read about sushi, or try it.
Well, same with the experiences of the mind.

(And in the end, pretty much everybody LOVES making love and eating sushi!)

What to do when you don't know what to do

As I was writing this retro-post yesterday, I re-read some of Eva Pierrakos’ "lectures".

In one of them (can’t remember which one!), I found the following "practice" that I applied right away to some apparently unsolvable dilemma I had been carrying along for the last few days – and it brought me out of this foggy patch. Here’s the practice:

Whenever you are confused about a situation, you need to meditate on the three levels of reality:

1. What you think is happening (clarify your own feelings)
2. What it really happening (change perspective, etc)
3. What could happen (the myriad possibilities).

This is how I meditated last night. On 1, 2, and 3. The light came right away, the fog lifted completely. It took me about 15 minutes just lying on my bed and focusing intensely on the issue using this framework – not with my mind, but with my whole self.

Integral practice

Inspired by this Kosmic blogger, I have sketched out what my "Integral Practice", using the framework from Ken Wilber's One taste, P. 121-123, looks like.

Upper-Right quadrant (Individual, Objective, Behavioral)

Physical
- diet: with occasional exceptions, no meat, no alcohol, no coffee, no sugar, no white starch, lots of vegetables, eating light, eating at home (my diet naturally changed as I awoke spiritually: there were no "no this, no that" before).
- structural: yoga/running/swimming (total of 5 times a week), occasional hiking/mountaineering or mountainbiking on week-ends

Neurological
- pharmacological: no medication (consciously try to avoid them as much as possible)
- brain/mind machines: have not tried! Sounds wild!

Upper-Left quadrant (Individual, Subjective, Intentional)

Emotional
- breath: yoga (see above), relaxation (in combination with meditation)
- sex: mindful "whole-bodied" sex as much as possible! :-)

Mental
- therapy: not at the moment, but it took a big role in my awakening. Will consider going once a year or so for a few sessions.
- journaling: yes, the best tool for self-observation! It was a big part of my awakening too.
- lots of reading/researching spiritual literature
- vision (visualization, affirmation, conscious living): yes, as part of journaling and meditation. Conscious living has become the default state, I can't really "hide" anymore!

Spiritual (here I am not sure yet where my meditations fit in the 4 categories, but I practice different types of meditation to be sure ;-). I meditate an average of 1x30mn a day (I try 2x30mn a day) + meditation retreats now and then)
- psychic: contemplate nature whenever I can! (especially sunrises and sunsets, and the moon...)
- subtle: tonglen, mantra meditation (not sure they fit there)
- causal: vipassana (witnessing meditation)
- non-dual: guru yoga meditation from Diamond Way buddhism (I think this meditation actually covers all four types)

Lower-Right quadrant (Social, Interobjective)

Systems (exercising responsibility to earth, nature, biosphere, and geopolitical infrastructures at all levels)
- I am mindful of my impact on the planet: car usage, water, electricity, packaging, etc.
- I educate others as much as I can on global warming and other environmental issues.

Institutional (exercising educational, political, and civic duties to family, town, state, nation, world)
- I keep informed on what's going on in the world, I educate others whenever I get a chance!

Lower-Left quadrant (Cultural, Intersubjective)

Relationships (with family, friends, sentient beings in general, decentering the self, making relationships part of one's growth)
- Making relationships part of my growth has been one of the main realizations and focus of my spiritual growth.
- Especially, I work hard on creating a deep, beautiful relationship with my boyfriend!
- In general, I try to bring something to everyone I encounter: family, friends, anyone I interact with.

Community service (volunteer work, homeless shelters, hospice, etc.)
- I volunteer at the MIT club of Northern California, Renewable Energy program.
- Writing this blog? (not sure if/where it fits, there are Upper-Left and Lower-Right components also, so I put it in the middle ;-))

Morals (engaging the intersubjective world of the Good, practising compassion in relation to all sentient beings)
- Not sure what it means, but I guess I do that now... maybe Tonglen meditation actually fits here? (it opens the heart).
- I now relate to other beings' pains much more now and it seems much easier to "do Good" as it was pre-awakening, as I see more clearly what's going on.

Make your life practice-centric

I had a conversation with a life coach friend of mine today to discuss how I can best prepare to become a life coach until classes begin in August. His answer: "Whatever your current practices are, deepen them". Also: "Make your life practice-centric". So I put together a plan to deepen the following (i.e. my main) practices:

• Meditation/spirituality: do a round of exploration to find a sangha and spiritual teacher (I've been without any for a while now) to deepen personal practice, sign up for a retreat
• Yoga: do more classes, practice daily at home, sign up for a retreat/workshop, get a private class
• Journaling: deepen that practice, introduce the practice of automatic/intuitive writing, add also more structure (e.g. structured investigation/introspection, structured self-observations, etc)
• Relationship: deepen current practices (e.g. love-making, Thai massage, hiking/biking together, speaking French together), and maybe find new practices to do together (dancing class?).

I will also be looking for some creative practice as I don't really have any, except writing this blog - but, say, something more artistic! I'm thinking of taking singing/chanting classes, finding a voice teacher, etc, as I love singing/chanting.

Pure mind

My friend Marco tells me that he's been reading and rereading the "We are what we think" post in my blog, and started to wonder what is this pure mind... He says: "Of course, it's all about that, all the books we spoke about... But, I wonder, is there a shortcut to best decribe it, achieve it.... ? Pure mind?" Marco definitely has a talent for asking me the most beautiful questions! :-) My reply:

"Pure mind?

Pure mind manifests through impeccable thoughts, impeccable speech, impeccable behavior and action. Be impeccable. This is pure mind. :-)

How to do that? It takes a lot of courage, mostly.

Watch your thoughts. Every minute. Watch your inner lanscape like you would attend a beautiful garden. Attend to it daily. Weed out any impurity. Plant the seeds for beautiful flowers (love, compassion, gratitude, etc). Water often. Weed impure things again (they grow fast). Be patient.

Your thoughts are creative. When you fear failure, you often get failure, etc. I suppose you have observed that in your life, i.e. the truth in what Buddha says in that passage. 

I find the following little phrase to be a summary of all we have been talking about: "Be creative vs. reactive". Pure mind is being fresh to any situation - not reacting to it as if pre-conditioned (e.g. "what an idiot", "it is raining, how sad", "it is a woman, I will seduce her", etc). Be creative vs. reactive means be totally conscious, totally present to what-is all the time. It means fearlessness - fearless loving - courage. It is also the act of "evolving". It is also the act of realizing that, in fact, we are God, manifesting. It sort of summarizes the whole field of metaphysics, theology, religion, my blog, etc. Be creative, not reactive :-)

I would recommend that you read Tomorrow's God, or maybe start with the Conversations with God series (1, 2, 3). (It's from this author that I draw this "be creative vs. reactive" way of putting things - tons of useful distinctions there). It will inspire you.

How to best achieve pure mind? Act like a god (or a buddha, or Christ, or a cool dude, whatever you call it) until you become one. Fake it until you make it. This is called "guru yoga" in some traditions.

If you want to engage in a practice to achieve pure mind, you can try this. This is a meditation I do daily. It is one way of practising "guru yoga".

If you like that particular meditation and are open to meditating in a group and mingling with a few Buddhists, you can visit the Diamond Way Center in London: it is their main practice.

Or, I'm sure you'll find other ways to fake it until you make it! :-)"